Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
