Three words: puerto rican gang bang
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
