yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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