Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
