actually, I'm a sock model
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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