I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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