HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
When are your genitals available?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
