Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Hippo gnu deer
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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