The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
