But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
