Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
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