It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
