What did we do last night that was yellow?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
