...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
