I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
