idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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