Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
