Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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