....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
