so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
