chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
