She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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