just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
