This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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