You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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