its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
