when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I have surprise drugs for everyone
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
