I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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