So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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