Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
