Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
