NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
