Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
