Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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