Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
