Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
