you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
