I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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