I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize