Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
