i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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