You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
