sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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