i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
