Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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