i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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