You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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