i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
