I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It all started with a game of naked twister.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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