Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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