On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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