Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
